I'm Going to Go Ahead and Be a Douche

Unlike yesterday, I do not mean this in a literal way. I'm merely speaking of being an A-hole, a jerkwad, a butthead.

I say this because, as I'm getting ready for my residency, I can't help but compare my work to the others in the same group as me. (I know, it sucks to be them.) And when I do, I think, Man, these people kind of suck. It's pretty much the truth. Douche that I may be for saying as much. I honestly wish that we could come to workshop and just say things like, "This sucks. What were you thinking? How about you find another dream?" Brutal as it may be, the ones being workshopped will just end up hating the bearer of bad news, not the news itself. Or, best case scenario--after someone decks me for saying that their work resembles the dribble emanating from the Teletubbies' mouths--they get so pissed, they think, "I'll show that douche. I can write better than... [insert favorite author here]" Then their dream will be renewed, and they will write the next Pulitzer Prize winning novel.

It's amazing what negative feedback can do for a person. I know. It happened to me. I wouldn't be doing what I am right now, if it weren't for the department head of creative writing that told me my story was "sentimental and juvenile." I got pissed. And what did I do, I thought, I'll show you, Douche. I'm going to keep on writing just to prove you wrong. While I have yet to win the Pulitzer, I have a publishing cred, have only one short year left for my Master in Creative Writing, and my novel is--ever so slowly--nearing it's finish. All of which might not have happened if that guy hadn't been such an A-hole.

So, I guess what I'm saying is Embrace the Douche Within Each and Every One of You. Be a constructive A-hole, and someone my end up loving you.

(Just as a heads up, tomorrow's post will come late--if at all--and next week should be a good surprise for any of you willing to check back. And my review for Hancock is live.)

Literal Flow Chart

I woke up at about 4:30 this morning and put together a flow chart in my head:
Why am I awake? Is there a reason? (If No, go back to sleep.)
Yes.
Was it the cat? (If Yes, go back to sleep.)
No.
Is it raining? (If Yes, go back to sleep.)
No.
Was it the wife making too much noise? (If Yes, go back to sleep.)
No.
Do you have to pee? (If No, go back to sleep.)
Yes.
Is it urgent enough to get out of bed? (If No, go back to sleep.)
Yes.
Then pee, you idiot, and quit thinking about this stupid crap so you can get back to sleep.

Don't ask me why my brain works this way, if I knew, I'd shut it down and actually get a good night's sleep for once. But whatever, I wouldn't be nearly as entertained by my own private Wonderland.

In other, non-peeing, news, there is a new comic. Plus, there should be a review for Hancock up here soon enough. Have yourself a flowing-tastic day.

This Coming Week

So I feel bad about missing Friday. Honestly though, it would've been much the same as my "make up" post on Saturday, so you weren't missing much.

I'm back from my Colorado adventure. I needed to go out and see the family before some of them disappear completely. Sucks when your family decides to, you know, get old and die. I'll probably do what I can to make inappropriate jokes and think terrible thoughts, since that's one of my coping mechanisms.

As for this coming week, I'm going to be getting ready for my residency, though I'm still trying to decide if I want to do another Shattered Suns and Broken Hearts type project, though I doubt it, since I don't have the Intuos anymore. Instead of a new story, you'll probably just get boring updates of my residency shenanigans--which won't be much since I don't drink. Though my friends do, and they can be some nutty bastards.

Wish I could give you an update on the new films, namely Hancock, but both Logan and I didn't have a chance to check it out yet. Wall E should get a review soon, if not from Logan, then from me. And there is a good possibility of a new comic this week, but, again, we'll see how things go.